annietsocial

So I picked up my exercise routine again and I have to say, I love to sweat! Most people might think it’s gross or not in the least bit attractive, but I have to tell you..nothing makes me feel sexier then knowing I have sweat rolling off my body and I’m getting fit in the process.

Am I the only one in this thinking process?

Now I’m back!

The past few months put me in an out of control spin. With the weight loss came a new me and a turn towards a lifestyle I had never experienced before. I didn’t realize that I was hurting the people around me by becoming so consumed in a “new me”.

After much soul searching (and A LOT of trial and error) I am back to a healthy lifestyle! I had gotten a lot of issues out of my system and I’m confident that the person I want to be still needs work.

With the help, motivation and support of loved ones; I can smile again and be confident that the choices I’m making are positive ones to my well being.

~ Liz

Sunday was one of the most spectacular days of my life. My roomate was cleaning out her drawers and found about 7 pairs of jeans that she never wore. She was going to donate them to the Goodwill before she came to me and said, “Well, you’re losing so much weight, why don’t you check and see if these fit you?” So I said sure and went and started to try them on. They were a size 24 and they all fit!

For as long as I can remember, I have always wore a size 28! Not anymore! All those size 28’s are tossed out the door and I’m NEVER bringing them back in again!

 I can’t believe it, I’m still excited!

Today I had my biopsy appointment. I wake up extra early (because I couldn’t sleep the night before) and get to the hospital by 7:20. My appointment wasn’t until 8, but I figured that I would go and wait in the waiting room. I get there, I am the first person so they take me early. That’s a good sign, right? I get called into the back room, go through the paper work, dressed in that ever attractive blue gown and then get called into the testing room.

I’m up on the table, doing the pre-exam (blood pressure, heart monitoring, blah blah blah) and then the ultra-sound tech comes in to look for the nodules. What happens? She can’t find any. Yes, those pesky little nodules that my doctor was worried about, were not there anymore!

What does this mean? Not only do I NOT have to have a biopsy, but the nodules that I thought my doctor (and I) thought was cancer, weren’t even evident. Gone.

Was this a miracle at play? Or just a simple mistake? Needless to say, I’m breathing my sighs of relief for both not having to be jabbed with needles and now having a nodule, cancer free thyroid.

This turned out to be a pretty fantastic Monday.

Woo Hoo!

For the past few days I’ve been feeling really down in the dumps. You know the song and dance, hating yourself and everything in it. So I decided to weigh myself (which I never usually do) and bam! I was right at my mini-goal of a 6 pound loss!

What an instant mood lifter!

To be good!? Is it that old saying, “it’s feels so good to be bad!” that is making me mental? I’ve never been addicted to any drugs, but I’d have to say…food is like heroin to me. I can’t seem to stop eating it. I keep yelling at myself, “Why are you eating this? You’re not even hungry.” But I can’t seem to stop.

Has this ever happened to you? You’re sitting around in your house, maybe watching tv or reading a book and the next thing you know, you’re in the fridge? And you have absolutely no idea how you got there? It’s like that point between actually reading/watching tv and being at the fridge, that’s a black out. It’s upsetting and frustrating all at the same time.

It’s like, I want to be good. I want to eat things that are healthy (for the most part, I do) but there is this insane part inside that just goes ravenous for anything I can get my hands on. I don’t know why that is. I’ve asked myself that again…and again…and again.

I’ve had people tell me, “Lizzy, you’re not ready to lose weight, because if you were, you would lose it.” What?! What the hell does that mean? Why would you say something like that to someone? This is a battle that I go through every single day. It has nothing to do with really wanting something and only pretending to want something.

It’s a vice and it’s an addiction and probably harder to overcome then anything.

Feels good to vent that.

I went to my endocrinologist today, for my 3 month visit, and I went in feeling fantastic. Things were going okay, until he felt my throat. Said it didn’t feel right and he wanted to do an ultra-sound. So he did an ultra-sound of my throat. Turns out..I have thyroid nodules and I have to go in for a biopsy to see if they are cancerous. He told me that if they were round, that would be a different story, but mine are shaped funny. That’s all I know for now, until I go in to have my throat jabbed with needles. What joy!

On a good note, I lost 10 pounds.